If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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