pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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