There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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