when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just cropdusted the office
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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