Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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