From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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