I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
