you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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