She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
