people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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