I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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