five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
