how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
40s are totally the cure
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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