I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
