He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
