fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
