ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
