Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I will be naked everywhere
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize