That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
