wanna go halves on a baby?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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