did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I think I just sharted jello shots
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