If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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