are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
