why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
