Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
