He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
