haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
