if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize