bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
