I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
