got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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