Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize