What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
