Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize