The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He felt like a one man threesome
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
