Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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