I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
