This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i will never coherently bang her
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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