I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize