i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
