Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
