trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
