I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
