Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Quick, to the slutcave!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
