Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
