I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
