she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
