well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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