im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
