Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
