Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
