so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
