I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
