Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
