am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
