Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
