Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
