it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
