I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize