Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
