you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
