This girl is more easily done than said...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
