next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
