I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
