I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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