I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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