Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
