You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
