I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
